Dying Inside, Little by Little
by A Moments Hesitation
Summary: The way you look at her makes me die inside. Channy mentions. Drabble.


Summery: The way you look at **her **makes me die inside.

-

The way you look at her makes me die inside, little by little. You gaze at her as if she's your whole world. As if - noone else is there, but you and her. You look at her like she's the reason that you're alive. Like, without her you're nothing. It sickens me, and yet...

I **want** _you_ to look at me that way.

I want to be the person on the receiving end of those adoring eyes...

Not her.

A _fool_ could see how much you adore her. Make no mistake. You hold so much love for her. Her, who isn't as pretty as me. Her, who is rather plain compared to me. Her, who is...who is...

Not me. Plain and simple. I'm not her, and she's not me. Every thing's wrong.

My heart breaks. I wish you were mine. I wish I could hold you tight like I've seen her do a thousand times to you. I wish I could hold your hand, and not have a care in the world. Most of all, I wish that I could kiss you with a passion that would make you forget your name.

I die a little inside whenever I see her with you, and now a days - I honestly think I'm already dead inside. You don't even notice me. That hurts more than anything.

I wish that she had never came, like I didn't want her too in the first place. I wish she was _dead_. I wish she was _gone_. At first, I thought that if I was mean to her, she would leave. But, she didn't. Now, I have to live with seeing her and you together. I wish I was her right now.

The girl that you publicity stated that you loved. The girl that responded that she loved you back. The girl that was nothing at first. The girl who is rather average...

The _girl_ that holds a torch in your heart.

The one that you l - _love_.

I wish I was her.

I admit that I was jealous when the two of you hit it off well - I still_ am_. I hated it that she actually got you to talk to a "Random" - as you so call us - when I couldn't. Me, who is _way_ prettier than her. Her, who is an ordinary country girl.

Why did you first see her, and not me - when I was here way longer. She didn't want your attention, I did. I _preened_ for your attention. You never bestowed it on me. Me, who broke a handful of boys hearts with just my looks alone. Me, who always received second glances from boys, but not you.

Why did you chose her? You could have had anyone else you wanted - like me for insistince. Why her?

I love _you_.

Why do you insist on loving her? Her, perfect all around nice girl extraordinaire, Sonny Monroe? You guys are complete _opposites_. You care about looks, and the media. She cares about p -people, and being nice to other. I'm more like you. We're alike. We fit so well together. Others have said so.

So, why is it that when she suddenly appeared the media forgot about me, and immediately paired you guys up together? They even gave you guys a couple name: Channy. The name alone makes me want to throw up. We'd be the ultimate couple. Not her and you.

Why is it that you never seeked me out, but when she suddenly comes along, you're everywhere where she is? Why do you practically stalk her?! I see you looking at her when you think no one else is looking. Why? I can't comprehend why. Why do you follow her every move? Why is it that you only see her?

How come you enjoy the bickering you guys do? Why is it so special that you insist on doing it every day? Why? I would have thought that after that you would leave each other alone...

I was wrong, _again_.

Instead, you kept coming back. Back to - her. What's so freaking _special_ about her? Why have you never seeked me out to bicker with? I'm just as quirky as her. I can be just as fun. I'm a "Random", too! I'm the one that's always on the magazine covers. I'm the one that's always stylish - not her. Her wardrobe is sooo las - never even in.

We belong together. Plain and simple. Everyone knows it.

So, why do you insist on being with her?

-

**a/n: I saw this quote, and I just **_**had**_** to do it. :]**


End file.
